Now to more casual things...

So I'm an avid quiz show person.  I enjoy Jeopardy a lot.  Many weird things have been happening on that show.  There was this guy with this HUGE mane!  It was ridiculous!  Anyway, I do very well with the questions.  They had a Greek category tonight and I got most of the questions right.  For one of them ($1200 I think) I was like, "Darius or Xerxes,"  And then the first guy said Xerxes and got it wrong then the second guy said Darius.  I guess I'm so good that I can guess the wrong answer AND the right answer.  Haha.  And 2 weeks ago on Price is Right, there were 3 double showcase winners.  At least that's what I remember.  It was RIDICULOUS!  It almost never happens.  It was INSANE.  Well, I guess I shouldn't get that excited over it, but I was.  And have you ever seen the flag of Colombia, the country?  It is half yellow, 25% red and 25% blue.  It was the weirdest distribution I have ever seen.


It's just so weird! (Just so you know, I do not aim to offend anyone with this post)

~another musing of the ill-informed~

How does it feel...

...to learn that everything you ever knew about yourself you hated.  I mean, I already know that I hate myself.  But just imagine when the pampered person learns that not everything is good in the world.  Or maybe even vice versa.  But it's just weird, because this happened to another person in a book, and I hate myself, so it must happen to others. (Consideration of Universe #347: If it happens to you and it happens in a book, it happens everywhere)  He was in denial.  I think I went through a bout of depression.  But now I'm sort of fine with hating myself.  And when I tell other people they try to make me feel better.  But...I don't know.  I just don't know.  And I suppose that's the point.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Knockoffs of Harry Potter are just not worth it

My evidence being that: Jenny Nimmo sucks.  If she ever read this, she would probably be a little upset.  Sorry in advance for that.  But the Charlie Bone series, by the way, don't read it, is really bad.  She should have stopped after book 3.  Book 4 was alright, but with that book, you just start opening a huge can of worms.  The series would have ended with a party.  Everyone loves parties.  You just don't need good to triumph over evil all the time.  Almost typed ecstasy instead of evil there.  Whoa!  Why do stories want to end happily all the time and have closure?  Some closure is fine, but absolute resolution of the plot sometimes doesn't appeal to me, especially when the resolution is just way too hard to conceive of under the current circumstances.  Even with the Harry Potter series, you just can't keep track of all the solutions to a problem.  Whatever happened to time-turners?  And certain weird occurances just don't make sense.  These people do not know how to truly create their fantasy world.  It seems like you almost have to live in that world to truly conceive of it.  Like acting.  Whoever said that sanity was a requirement of being an artist anyway?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I love that you can look at this...

And know that it's me.  Why have I only met you now?  Why am I so unwilling to give myself to you?  Why am I so young and stupid and hormonal and horrible?  Wouldn't being hormonal make me want to be with you?  So why do I not? It's not that I don't want to.  I feel like I'll hurt you.  I feel like I'll hurt you.  I'll hurt you.  You're so perfect.  You know.  (and yes I know, you're not perfect, but) You're perfect.  Ugh.  I'm so dumb.  But I don't want to scar the unfathomable perfection.  I can't do it.  But I would.  How adolescent.  Why am I writing this on here.  I've usually been careful not to tell too much about myself.  I wished you would know it was me.  Why did Rumplestiltskin play his game?  Did he wish his name would be guessed?  Was he tired of hiding?  I want someone to know my secrets.  Even if I can't tell them.  Because being alone is so hard.  And I've tried so very hard to keep myself that way.  At least that's what it looks like to me.  Life is so complicated...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Paradise

I recently watched Up, a movie that shouldn't make you sad but it does.  The guy is sitting in his house/Ellie right next to Paradise Falls, the almost exact place he wanted to end up in life.  He had reached his goal.  And yet he was sad.  Because somehow he knew that it wasn't right.  He happens upon Ellie's adventure book once again.  And finally turns past "What I'm Going to Do" and sees what her Paradise Falls is.  And he realizes that he's been there all along.  For as shy as Carl is, his true paradise is in his relationships.  Which is interesting.  Because Carl will run away from any relationship he could possibly encounter and tries to push everyone and everything away from him, trying to create a bubble around him. I'm not sure why this is.  Nothing happened in his life, as far as I know, that would make him like this from the start.  It just doesn't make sense.  And here I thought I was going to write about how paradise is all around us, we just don't know where to look.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do people want the world to end so badly anyway?

Since the beginning of the world, there have been many prophecies of the end of it.  The most potent being the bible.  But that isn't exactly the end of the world, so to speak.  But I digress.  My question is, why do people want the world to end so much?  So they have motivation to achieve their life goals?  So they can gloat over other people feeling misery?  The guy who just predicted an end supposedly became rich.  Kind of ironic if you're preaching the end of the world so that you can get worldly riches.  The bible even specifically says that no one will no the time or the day.  So how can these people possibly predict it, especially if they're Christian.  Just doesn't make sense to me...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do people not like me?

I go around places and I just see how people act with me and how they act around other people (for some reason I don't find it hard to be invisible when other people are having fun right in front of me), and through many many months of deliberation, I have decided that people do not like me.  They are not my friend or even accomplice.  And I try so hard to be nice to them.  I do stuff for them, I'm myself around them.  And it just isn't good enough.  So naturally I figure there's a reason.  Well I found it.  And it's my fault.  There is just something about me and the way I act that makes other people not want to be around me.  Other people are with their friends all the time and they seem happy.  But they don't want to be around me.  Sure they talk to me sometimes.  But I don't think they want to.  And sorry for writing this entirely self-centered thing, but this is my blog.  I should be able to write whatever I want on here.  But I don't usually.  Actually, most of the time I do.  Sort of...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Annoyingness

I volunteer to referee soccer games sometimes.  I did something like 50 games in the past year.  I volunteer to referee a tournament this weekend, but my availability is limited to only saturday before 2:30.  So of course I only get 1 game at 12:00.  I usually get 5 games or more a day at tournaments.  I've even done as many as 8.  So then when I try to get extra games because I don't want to waste my time, I don't look at the date and don't see that the games are on Sunday.  So I hurriedly decline them and get a nasty letter from my assignor telling me that she should take the game I have away.  And you know, I declined putting out my availability to other tournaments because of this one...something tells me it was a waste of my time.  Oh well.  I'll just referee my one game this week and not get tired at all.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Holocaust

Why did the Holocaust even happen?  It served no political pupose whatsoever, except perhaps to swing the public into hatred against a group.  It seems to me like Germany trying to make other countries DO things.  Like when children hit a boy, make him crazy, say look, "he's so big, but WE can make HIM DO THINGS!"  It's all about control

~another musing of the ill-informed~

How often...

...do you think about what other people are thinking and think that you are right?  I had an english teacher who took things that a character was saying and drew a more "subtle" meaning from it, a meaning that I really don't think applied at all.  And I think this happens in real life sometimes.  You misinterpret how another person reacts to you and you get the wrong idea from them.  But you know, I  think that misinterpretation can be humorous, in a morbid kind of way.  Someone is crying and you think about why they're crying, and then you think that they're not really crying they're laughing! HAHA!  Sort of not really.  Just a different way to look at things.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Control

Pretty sure I talked about this before, but I kind of feel like I need to again.  Control.  Why do we need it?  The need people have to be higher than someone else.  Ok, maybe I am talking about something else here, but I'm convinced it is the same thing.  If you place yourself higher than another person, you are telling them that they can't really measure up to you, sometimes enticing them to try.  Reminds me of the parable when Jesus said that you should take the lowest seat and be moved up at the party.  It just seems really awesome if that always happened in real life.  Humble yourself and you will be exalted, exalt yourself and be humbled.  That would be an awesome way to live.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Need to start getting on this more...

Sorry that I haven't been on this that much.  I just haven't had too much time for anything recently.  I should be posting fairly regularly from now on.

So.  There are some times when I feel like something I do is emotionally insensitive to a certain situation.  Sort of like making a loud noise at a silent movie...it's just kind of awkward.  It just sort of makes sense to me not to do something I would regularly have done under different circumstances.  Not sure what my point is with that, but I thought it was worth bringing up.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why are people so rude???

Why would a person ever just make fun of deaf people as a whole?  I was watching Celebrity Apprentice (yay for DVR!!!) and there was a deaf person and another person was talking about how no little kid wants to read about a person who is deaf because it is sad and it would make them feel bad.  All this to a person who has been trying to break over barriers like this for HER WHOLE FREAKIN' LIFE!!! Seriously?!? That is just ridiculous.  I just don't get how a person can get so callous and rude!  To anybody who has a handicap, which I think most of us do, by the way, the most demeaning thing to tell them is that they should just hide in the shadows because they make people feel bad.  And that person doesn't care about the person they're talking to?  That's just ridiculous.  Ridiculous.  Since when has the human race been degraded to that almost animal order of intelligence?  I'm ashamed.  But then, why should I?  I know that there are some people in the world who do things like this all the time.  I know there are some good people in the world.  But I also know there are substandard examples of humans as well.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why is childrearing so difficult?

Why do parents want only the best for their children?  It seems to me as if parents always push their children into what the parents think is best for them.  I've have also seen the trend of children not wanting to be like their parents and resolve to be better to their children.  I think part of the reason this sometimes does not work is that all children are different and will respond to different stimuli than other children.  But this still seems interesting to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Where do the lies end?

or the truth start?  Do I lie to you all the time?  Could everything I say be an inaccurate mask hiding what I really mean until the mask fades away and becomes the horrible face that is underneath.  I feel like I'm so fake.  I feel like I'm just a machine or a robot, following someone else's will until I find myself enough to make my own decisions.  That or become so overwhelmed with the horrible person I am.  Really overwhelmed.  I just want to curl up and play some music or run or something.  I can't go on like this.  I need something else.  Music.  Pain.  God.  Something.  Probably God.  But all things come from God.  Because I certainly can't get it from other people...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Man is not machine...

...and never will be
following another person's track with this one
Recently, a computer competed on Jeopardy and won, making people believe that they will sometime be replaced.  This seems ridiculous to me, because computers cannot possibly do everything a person can do.  They cannot "hand-make" anything.  If something goes wrong, they have a limited capacity to fix a problem.  They cannot make their routines better.  All things that humans can do.  I don't care about how far robots get because I know they will never be able to think and reason like real humans do.  You can disagree all you want, and I may as well be wrong, but guess what--I'm still right.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

The Myth of Superiority

Why do other people always have to act as if they always know better?  Why cannot they admit that other people who perhaps seem to not know better have some valuable insights that would be beneficial in many ways?  Why dominate a conversation when you can broaden your scope with more variety?  I just don't understand why people are so eager to hold on to their own beliefs, when they are obviously wrong.  Just kidding.  But just that one sentence.  Everything else is right.  That is why we have DISCUSSIONS not one sided conversations.  Even if you want to wrongfully call that a discussion.  So listen up people!!!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Different Version, Different Story

There once was a rabbi and there were some people.  In a marketplace, there was a woman who committed adultery and she was going to get stoned by the people, as was the practice back then.  The rabbi said, "Those who are without sin, let them throw the first stone."  All the people dropped their stones.  The rabbi then said, "Nevertheless, this woman has sinned and needs to face the consequences," and subsequently raised and dropped a stone over head and dashed out her brains upon the ground.  I guess not everything turns out the way you think it will.  Perhaps that is why there is not mercy for all.  Because if there was, some people would get away with far more than they should.  Therefore, we should think ourselves lucky when we receive mercy when we feel that we should not.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Haven't been on this for awhile...

...but I'm back now.  Sort of.  I'll be out for a little bit next week.  Somehow the pageview number jumped for a little bit.  I've been really busy, so maybe it becomes ironic that that is when people choose to look or not look at this thing.  Finished the next book in the original Ender series.  I'm sort of going through them all again and writing down ideas at the end.  I can't write while I read.  It messes up the mood and everything.  I use A LOT of paperclips.  I'll take a picture sometime.  The current one had to do with foreign species and their underdevelopment and reliance on a virus for their well-being that is sometimes harmful to humans.  It is really interesting.  Also giving the books to a friend who is just reading them for the first time, which is really exciting.  Gives me a lot of good things to think about.  All the characters are just so deep.  Which got me thinking?  Why are all the characters in the stories highly intelligent?  It is his world and everything, but is everybody really intelligent?  I'm starting to think that there are people who are a whole lot more intelligent than you would think.  Which is completely new mindset for me.  Sort of.  I mean, there are a lot of smart people, but some of them hide it really well.  At least that is what it seems like to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why Does God Give us good Things?

When all things that we do have some negative consequence?  Okay, not all, but a lot of them do.  Don't try to catch me in this one, there are many good things in the world.  Maybe you should stop trying to pick up inconsistencies in this and actually read what I'm writing.  Anyway, there are good things in the world that show us that even from our negative consequences will spring something good that helps another person.  That may be a redundant statement.  That's right, only I'm allowed to point out inconsistencies, you concentrate on the important things.  God gives us good things to remind us that not all in the world is bad.

~another musing of the ill-informed~