Why I won't

But you can't hear me, you can't hear me...

Ever and ever and ever.  Never sing for you.  Never for you.  Ever.  Because you don't deserve it.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody!  May you look upon the events of the past year with joy as we remember the birth of God's son, Jesus.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

And in the morning, Joy

Song that we are doing in chorus.

"Blue mist rising, rising from the hollows to the hills.
Morning comes, and with it all the joy that morning brings.
Gone the weeping, weeping of the long night slowly stills.
Morning comes, and with the morning joy!"

Or at least the part that I feel like putting on here
Another part from the song:

"Anxious mother, wayward child, lost, alone. 

 Grieving father, lonesome soldier far from home.

 Heartsick family, weeping through the long dark night,

          Wait for morning, for it comes, and with it joy,"

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I Still Can't Figure out who actually reads this...

I am still trying to find who I am, I think.  The face that I see when I look into the mirror is not mine.  At least I don't think it is.  For some reason, my name, my face, doesn't seem to be me.  Any outward appearance that I have I reject as myself.  I'm still trying to figure myself out.  Maybe that is one of life's mysteries: finding yourself is one of the hardest things one must do.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Essay Writing

Currently writing an essay on Pearl from Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter.  The problem?  All the literary critics I have to read disagree with my thesis.  ARGH!  Why can't they just talk about what is right anyway?  Now I'll just have to disagree with them as well...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I found it!

I found an awesome musical by watching this awesome guy's videos.  It is Turnabout Musical, a musical based upon the Phoenix Wright video games.  The musical is, from what I can tell, very well put together and for the most part well sung.  I strongly suggest checking it out.  Favorite songs are Decree of the Prosecutor, the Objection Song, and the Samurai always Wins.  They are just quite good.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Happy Thanksgiving!

If, by any chance, you are reading this, allow me to wish you the happiest and best Thanksgiving and may the next year bring more things to be thankful for.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

People being weird

They just won't stay predictable!  But I probably just don't know them well enough.  The weirdness this time stems from people going from one "significant other" to the next.  I've heard many a rational for this, the most potent being "gaining experience."  Better known to me as getting used to heartbreak.  I really don't have any real cure for this.  I guess the best thing to do is do something that takes your mind off things.  For me that could be reading, making music, doing something else that is hopefully distracting.  Might be painting for some.
I was just reading Ender's Shadow today and I was just thinking about stuff and then I got really pumped.  The source of the pumping was that I think/know that I can get out there and do something good, something awesome RIGHT NOW!  I don't need to wait, but society has constructed these limitations that bind stronger than anything and I DON'T NEED THEM.  I AM FINE!  And now I will stop with all the capital letters.  really.  but i just got this overpowering feeling that i have been wronged by the people who know less and think they are doing it for my good.  it's just ridiculous to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

What Matters?

I see people kissing sometimes, I see people kissing many times, I see people kissing all the time.  Here is something that I really shouldn't talk or think about too often, and yet here I am.  Sorry for living in the 20th century or something, but isn't a kiss something to be cherished?  Relished?  And yet these people are kissing all the time, all over the place.  When I kiss, it will be special, and it will mean something.  When you kiss 20 different people, what does that say about you?  It's just something you do.  A first kiss means almost nothing.  It is just a happenstance.  Where has the romance gone out of life?  When you kiss, what do you say?  You're just another one that I happen to like?  Or you are the only one of my life?  I just don't get it sometimes.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

A Song that I like on a day where there is nothing else

This song I like.  So powerful, though I wish they had used the organ instead of orchestra.  I just like their tone quality on this one.  Some of the lyrics I enjoy:
Lions and oxen will sleep in the hay,
Leopards will join with the lambs as they play,
Wolves will be pastured with cows in the glade,
Blood will darken the Earth that God made.

Ok, maybe a little less conservative than I usually go for, but that is how things will be in heaven on earth.  Anyway, the song is just so powerful, on this day when everything seems to piss me off, I just need something like this.  When things just don't go well, take a step back and lose yourself in that step.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Writing

I remember when I started writing emotionally.  It was in 8th grade and things were happening and I wrote a bunch of random poems.  I can still write some pretty good ones, but they're a whole lot less self-centered now.  Anyway, so I was talking to one of my friends about things that she wrote and it was really interesting.  It was kind of raw and about how everyone is so worried about what other people think and that they are unwilling to form their own opinions.  I don't feel like reacting to this right now.  But I just think we put a bit too much stock in what other people think.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Playing A Fugue...Badly

This is a group at a summer music camp I attended.  Unfortunately, I am playing in this recording as well.  Notice the horns and tuba were actually not that bad.  Sort of.  It was very hard to play this piece with the quality of trumpet players that we had.  Some people just can't count.  Anyway, enjoy the nice pictures I provided!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Beauty

So I was singing with my choir and just had to step back for a second and say, "Wow." These songs are just so beautiful.  At times like these I feel so thankful to live a life where there is music.  Music so wonderful.  So wonderful.  It is amazing.  I think my favorite kind of phrase is the ones that yearn and pull for the next phrase, on and on to the end of all.  This is a lot shorter than I thought it would be.  Oh well.  You know what?  I'll put a video here!

There.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Olhado

Been wanting to write about this quite a bit recently.  So there is a character in the older Ender series named Olhado Ribeira.  His family is disfunctional (aren't we all) and he has metal eyes.  Or metal eye.  His other eye had a port that can connect to the computer so he can upload "his" "memories."  Sort of cool.  But he becomes a bit of an outcast as a result.  Not that he isn't already for being a Ribeira.  Time passes and the rest of his family goes on to become great intellectuals and scientists.  He doesn't.  He just got a wife and had kids.  Card shows this pattern in the Bean sub-series (dare I call it that) with Anton, who discovered the key the subsequently caused Bean to be genetically modified with more mental capacity and shorter life span.  And both characters have an interesting withdrawn interest in the world around them, Anton trying to find the key to life, which he finds is love, and Olhado trying to keep his love in his beautiful wife and children.  The reappearence of this trait in seperate episodes leads me to believe that Card has this "big picture" type of belief where beyond where everything matters is love.  And love only.  Which Bean discovers everyone has.  Even Achilles.  And Ender discovers holds everyone and everything together.  So that is my analysis of a anomaly-seeming thing.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I don't have any good quotes for today...

Sorry.  Geez.  Tests annoy me.  Soooo loooong!  And my head hurts after...just a drag.  Yeah.  Don't feel like putting too much on here right now.  Sorry, rather uncharacteristic.  I think I'll put a picture up...

That's obsure enough, right?

And found out how to put these up!!! Yaya!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Seven Deadly Sins?

I believe there are a whole lot more than that.  And they're all deadly.  All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  That's pretty deadly to me.  All sins are REALLY bad.  And they ALL make God mad.  So it is great that he has been able to accept us sinners through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus.  Not sure why I went on this one today.  Just decided to say that the seven deadly sins were dumb.  So there you go.

~another musing of the ill-informed~
Layla is so awesome, she can jazz run backwards

Sports

Wow.  Wouldn't it just be weird if the Rays, Yankees, and Phillies didn't advance to the next round of the playoffs?  I hope it doesn't happen, but wouldn't it just be weird?  Other than the Rays, who are pretty good, the most dominant teams of MLB not making the CS?  Of course the Phillies should win.  It would be really disappointing if they didn't.  Best player on the Phillies?  Ruiz.  He's clutch, a great catcher and he has a bunch of walk-offs.  He's great.  So I hope the Phillies win.  I think if they get past NLDS, NLCS in 4 games, plus world series champs.  Hope your teams all lose! (If they haven't already...)

~another musing of the ill-informed~

did you know...

My last post was #100?  I did, but forgot to say anything about it.  Not that it matters, though I am seeing some spikes in my pageview count...anyway.  It's Wednesday.

“Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do. Inigo: I could do that. I have got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you. Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.”

I just had to put Princess Bride on here to ease me pain.  I hope I shan't be slain.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

People

People are just weird.  They come in all shapes and sizes.  But that isn't what I wanted to talk about.  I was talking to a friend today.  She was really depressed about the things she puts herself through and the people that she has to deal with while doing these things.  She was just really upset and it was making her feel like she couldn't escape the overpowering fog.  And I don't think anyone should ever feel that way.  Trapped.  By other people.  Of course, that's what happens in the world anyway.  But no one should feel that way if they don't have to.  I basically told her that she should try to make the best out of her situation.  And try to have a positive attitude about it.  But I feel like I didn't get through to her.  She's still depressed.  And now there's nothing I can do about it.  I feel like she's done talking to me.  I try to help people.  It just doesn't work out...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Songs I would like to record sometime

I sing and there are some songs that I would like to have recorded sometime.  These include: Anthem from Chess, If I Can't Love Her from Beauty and the Beast, Lily's Eyes from The Secret Garden, I Attempt from Love's Sickness to Fly by Purcell, some German songs I have from Handel?  I think by him.  Maybe some others that I just haven't found yet.  But it would be nice to record some songs.  Oh also Sure on This Shining Night by Barber.  I like Latin.  I wonder if there's anything for me to sing there.  Anyway.  I would just like to record myself singing sometime.  It would be interesting.

~another musing of the ill-informed~