Why I won't

But you can't hear me, you can't hear me...

Ever and ever and ever.  Never sing for you.  Never for you.  Ever.  Because you don't deserve it.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everybody!  May you look upon the events of the past year with joy as we remember the birth of God's son, Jesus.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

And in the morning, Joy

Song that we are doing in chorus.

"Blue mist rising, rising from the hollows to the hills.
Morning comes, and with it all the joy that morning brings.
Gone the weeping, weeping of the long night slowly stills.
Morning comes, and with the morning joy!"

Or at least the part that I feel like putting on here
Another part from the song:

"Anxious mother, wayward child, lost, alone. 

 Grieving father, lonesome soldier far from home.

 Heartsick family, weeping through the long dark night,

          Wait for morning, for it comes, and with it joy,"

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I Still Can't Figure out who actually reads this...

I am still trying to find who I am, I think.  The face that I see when I look into the mirror is not mine.  At least I don't think it is.  For some reason, my name, my face, doesn't seem to be me.  Any outward appearance that I have I reject as myself.  I'm still trying to figure myself out.  Maybe that is one of life's mysteries: finding yourself is one of the hardest things one must do.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Essay Writing

Currently writing an essay on Pearl from Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter.  The problem?  All the literary critics I have to read disagree with my thesis.  ARGH!  Why can't they just talk about what is right anyway?  Now I'll just have to disagree with them as well...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I found it!

I found an awesome musical by watching this awesome guy's videos.  It is Turnabout Musical, a musical based upon the Phoenix Wright video games.  The musical is, from what I can tell, very well put together and for the most part well sung.  I strongly suggest checking it out.  Favorite songs are Decree of the Prosecutor, the Objection Song, and the Samurai always Wins.  They are just quite good.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Happy Thanksgiving!

If, by any chance, you are reading this, allow me to wish you the happiest and best Thanksgiving and may the next year bring more things to be thankful for.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

People being weird

They just won't stay predictable!  But I probably just don't know them well enough.  The weirdness this time stems from people going from one "significant other" to the next.  I've heard many a rational for this, the most potent being "gaining experience."  Better known to me as getting used to heartbreak.  I really don't have any real cure for this.  I guess the best thing to do is do something that takes your mind off things.  For me that could be reading, making music, doing something else that is hopefully distracting.  Might be painting for some.
I was just reading Ender's Shadow today and I was just thinking about stuff and then I got really pumped.  The source of the pumping was that I think/know that I can get out there and do something good, something awesome RIGHT NOW!  I don't need to wait, but society has constructed these limitations that bind stronger than anything and I DON'T NEED THEM.  I AM FINE!  And now I will stop with all the capital letters.  really.  but i just got this overpowering feeling that i have been wronged by the people who know less and think they are doing it for my good.  it's just ridiculous to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

What Matters?

I see people kissing sometimes, I see people kissing many times, I see people kissing all the time.  Here is something that I really shouldn't talk or think about too often, and yet here I am.  Sorry for living in the 20th century or something, but isn't a kiss something to be cherished?  Relished?  And yet these people are kissing all the time, all over the place.  When I kiss, it will be special, and it will mean something.  When you kiss 20 different people, what does that say about you?  It's just something you do.  A first kiss means almost nothing.  It is just a happenstance.  Where has the romance gone out of life?  When you kiss, what do you say?  You're just another one that I happen to like?  Or you are the only one of my life?  I just don't get it sometimes.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

A Song that I like on a day where there is nothing else

This song I like.  So powerful, though I wish they had used the organ instead of orchestra.  I just like their tone quality on this one.  Some of the lyrics I enjoy:
Lions and oxen will sleep in the hay,
Leopards will join with the lambs as they play,
Wolves will be pastured with cows in the glade,
Blood will darken the Earth that God made.

Ok, maybe a little less conservative than I usually go for, but that is how things will be in heaven on earth.  Anyway, the song is just so powerful, on this day when everything seems to piss me off, I just need something like this.  When things just don't go well, take a step back and lose yourself in that step.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Writing

I remember when I started writing emotionally.  It was in 8th grade and things were happening and I wrote a bunch of random poems.  I can still write some pretty good ones, but they're a whole lot less self-centered now.  Anyway, so I was talking to one of my friends about things that she wrote and it was really interesting.  It was kind of raw and about how everyone is so worried about what other people think and that they are unwilling to form their own opinions.  I don't feel like reacting to this right now.  But I just think we put a bit too much stock in what other people think.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Playing A Fugue...Badly

This is a group at a summer music camp I attended.  Unfortunately, I am playing in this recording as well.  Notice the horns and tuba were actually not that bad.  Sort of.  It was very hard to play this piece with the quality of trumpet players that we had.  Some people just can't count.  Anyway, enjoy the nice pictures I provided!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Beauty

So I was singing with my choir and just had to step back for a second and say, "Wow." These songs are just so beautiful.  At times like these I feel so thankful to live a life where there is music.  Music so wonderful.  So wonderful.  It is amazing.  I think my favorite kind of phrase is the ones that yearn and pull for the next phrase, on and on to the end of all.  This is a lot shorter than I thought it would be.  Oh well.  You know what?  I'll put a video here!

There.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Olhado

Been wanting to write about this quite a bit recently.  So there is a character in the older Ender series named Olhado Ribeira.  His family is disfunctional (aren't we all) and he has metal eyes.  Or metal eye.  His other eye had a port that can connect to the computer so he can upload "his" "memories."  Sort of cool.  But he becomes a bit of an outcast as a result.  Not that he isn't already for being a Ribeira.  Time passes and the rest of his family goes on to become great intellectuals and scientists.  He doesn't.  He just got a wife and had kids.  Card shows this pattern in the Bean sub-series (dare I call it that) with Anton, who discovered the key the subsequently caused Bean to be genetically modified with more mental capacity and shorter life span.  And both characters have an interesting withdrawn interest in the world around them, Anton trying to find the key to life, which he finds is love, and Olhado trying to keep his love in his beautiful wife and children.  The reappearence of this trait in seperate episodes leads me to believe that Card has this "big picture" type of belief where beyond where everything matters is love.  And love only.  Which Bean discovers everyone has.  Even Achilles.  And Ender discovers holds everyone and everything together.  So that is my analysis of a anomaly-seeming thing.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I don't have any good quotes for today...

Sorry.  Geez.  Tests annoy me.  Soooo loooong!  And my head hurts after...just a drag.  Yeah.  Don't feel like putting too much on here right now.  Sorry, rather uncharacteristic.  I think I'll put a picture up...

That's obsure enough, right?

And found out how to put these up!!! Yaya!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Seven Deadly Sins?

I believe there are a whole lot more than that.  And they're all deadly.  All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  That's pretty deadly to me.  All sins are REALLY bad.  And they ALL make God mad.  So it is great that he has been able to accept us sinners through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus.  Not sure why I went on this one today.  Just decided to say that the seven deadly sins were dumb.  So there you go.

~another musing of the ill-informed~
Layla is so awesome, she can jazz run backwards

Sports

Wow.  Wouldn't it just be weird if the Rays, Yankees, and Phillies didn't advance to the next round of the playoffs?  I hope it doesn't happen, but wouldn't it just be weird?  Other than the Rays, who are pretty good, the most dominant teams of MLB not making the CS?  Of course the Phillies should win.  It would be really disappointing if they didn't.  Best player on the Phillies?  Ruiz.  He's clutch, a great catcher and he has a bunch of walk-offs.  He's great.  So I hope the Phillies win.  I think if they get past NLDS, NLCS in 4 games, plus world series champs.  Hope your teams all lose! (If they haven't already...)

~another musing of the ill-informed~

did you know...

My last post was #100?  I did, but forgot to say anything about it.  Not that it matters, though I am seeing some spikes in my pageview count...anyway.  It's Wednesday.

“Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do. Inigo: I could do that. I have got some rope up here. But I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you. Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.”

I just had to put Princess Bride on here to ease me pain.  I hope I shan't be slain.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

People

People are just weird.  They come in all shapes and sizes.  But that isn't what I wanted to talk about.  I was talking to a friend today.  She was really depressed about the things she puts herself through and the people that she has to deal with while doing these things.  She was just really upset and it was making her feel like she couldn't escape the overpowering fog.  And I don't think anyone should ever feel that way.  Trapped.  By other people.  Of course, that's what happens in the world anyway.  But no one should feel that way if they don't have to.  I basically told her that she should try to make the best out of her situation.  And try to have a positive attitude about it.  But I feel like I didn't get through to her.  She's still depressed.  And now there's nothing I can do about it.  I feel like she's done talking to me.  I try to help people.  It just doesn't work out...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Songs I would like to record sometime

I sing and there are some songs that I would like to have recorded sometime.  These include: Anthem from Chess, If I Can't Love Her from Beauty and the Beast, Lily's Eyes from The Secret Garden, I Attempt from Love's Sickness to Fly by Purcell, some German songs I have from Handel?  I think by him.  Maybe some others that I just haven't found yet.  But it would be nice to record some songs.  Oh also Sure on This Shining Night by Barber.  I like Latin.  I wonder if there's anything for me to sing there.  Anyway.  I would just like to record myself singing sometime.  It would be interesting.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.”
                     -The Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern

Life is hurt, life is horrid, life is the worst thing you could possibly imagine.  But life is good.  Life is one of the best things that will happen to you.  Above all else: Life is not fair.  Not fair not fair not fair.  Did I say it enough?  Do you get it now?  I suppose the point is to get what you can but not care what you can't.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I'm Busy...again

So I'm sorry if I don't get on this as often.  Not that anyone cares.  So I was talking to a friend today.  So I'm confused.  People are confusing.  I think I have someone figured out but I don't.  Maybe what I'm seeing is what I think I want to see instead of what is there.  That's on me.  Obviously.  But maybe the people are lying?  I know I lie to people.  With my face and words sometimes.  I just don't tell them what's really up.  Cause I don't want people to care.  But I do.  I'm confusing as well I suppose.  Again, we're almost all human.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I feel like people are starting to read this so I feel sort of guilty about not writing more often.

So now that I said that no one will read this anymore.  Or maybe blogger is just lying to me.  In any case.  I'm interested in brains and thoughts and recording thoughts.  Like sampling brain patterns and waves to put them in a cohesive manner for easier storage.  Because face it, you can't remember everything you should.  There are some ideas in my brain that I think deeply about for maybe 5 minutes then I forget.  And I know it was huge.  I just don't remember it.  Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a device that worked in tandem with your brain to record your thoughts and processes and even interract back with your brain with information you have thought.  Along with expansive capabilities.  That's just something that would be amazing to do and have.

On another note, why am I so unhappy all the time?  That was...not uncharacteristic but...I don't know.  Anyway, I enjoy being quiet.  If you met me, you probably wouldn't know that.  I'm rather outspoken.  But I like to be nondescript and observant.  It makes me feel different.  But that's just me...or is it?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Coldness

It's cold.  And I hope it doesn't get hot again.  It is so much easier to put layers on than take skin off. ;)  I think I'm turning into a cold person.  Perhaps this is symbolic...OR NOT!!! Not everything is symbolic everybody, just making sure you know taht.  And for some reason I find myself liking hot sauce.  Weird.  I'll get some slightly more involved posts over the weekend, just don't feel like it right now.  Gotta watch some Phoenix Wright videos from Arglefumph!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Inconceivable!

I just realized that I didn't post on this yesterday for 9/11.  I would like to thank our troops for all that they do overseas and also the first responders who are always always ALWAYS there helping those in need.  They truly do an amazing job.  I am glad that this nation is protected by such capable hands.

I mentioned that I read The Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern.  One part that is interesting is when Westley is being tortured by Rugen.  Usually, he doesn't mind too much, he just goes off in his mind with his love.  Enter the machine.  This differs a little bit from the movie.  The movie just puts a couple of suction cups on Westley.  The book covers Westley with suction cups, including his nostrils, eardrums, eyelids, and tongue.  This makes it impossible for him to retreat to his love.  After his "treatment," Westley just cries.  Why?  Is it because he feels he will eventually die from the machine?  Is is because he knows he could never endure such a thing?  He just cries.  Because no words could express the hurt and anguish that he feels.  This is the saddest part in the book for me.  Because this unbreakable man has just submitted to evil.  He's done. 

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Reading the almost real princess bride...

The Princess Bride, originally written by Simon Morgenstern, abridged version by William Goldman.  And this statement, I have just found out, is incorrect.  Mostly because of the fact that Simon Morgenstern is not real.  He never existed.  Goldman (that fox) made all that crap up in his book so he could put his "abridged" parts into the book without too much of a problem.  I would call him a douche.  But that's really incredibly funny.  I am semi-chuckling right now.  Hah.  Hah.  And one more, hah.  You tricked me, you mastermind.  That was incredibly funny.  And you even talked about a 1000 page manuscript that never existed.  You amuse me incredibly.  An amazingly funny man.  Anyway, read the book, it really is good, now I have to go find out which parts he was lying about, other than Morgenstern...HAH!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Conversations

Was talking to a friend today about some things.  Such a surprise, I know.  We talked about our future plans.  She said she lives life with knowledge of The Wall.  She knows she is going to hit it, but she just keeps going until she does.  I know there's a Wall.  But there's also something else.  Past the wall.  Over the wall.  Beyond the wall.  Something better, hopefully.  Skip the Wall and get to something better.  She said that she knows she is going to be unhappy.  I'm already unhappy.  Where else do you go from there?  More unhappy?  I have nowhere to go but up.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Time

There's never enough time.  Humans always want more time.  24 hours is not enough.  Plus humans sleep too much.  You can sleep when you're dead.  Life is too short.  (I put that on here before) There's never enough time in a life to do all that you need to do.  There's not enough time in a day.  Always have to be moving, doing something, getting something done, always rushing.  Never want to stop, always have to be stimulated.  I feel as if I'm repeating myself.  I just kind of was thinking about this today...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."
                                       -Walt Whitman

I liked this because often I just have ideas and say things and sometimes they're not entirely consistent.  But I am true, I am right, I am myself.  This is what I think he is trying to say.  He does not care if he seems contradictory to others, he knows what is true within himself, and he accepts this.  The accepting part is the harder one I think.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do they sing?

One thing that I found weird about the Shinn books I wrote about: all of the angels sing.  Spoiler alert: And though the angel's wings were genetically crafted, their voices weren't.  So I just don't get how they all sing.  In real life, not everyone says they can sing.  For some reason, I feel they do.  I just don't think it is possible for people to not be able to sing and other people to be able to sing.  It just doesn't make sense to me.  It probably has to do with the fact of how often they sang or used inflection when they were going through puberty.  But I still think everyone can sing.  Or at least could.  So if there are people who can't sing, wouldn't there be some angels that also couldn't sing?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Jovah's Angel, Sharon Shinn

Recently (as in today) read Jovah's Angel, the sequel to Sharon Shinn's book Archangel.  Set 150 years after the original novel, this book follows a new archangel and her angelico.  The problem in this book is the question of faith and why the people of Samaria have the beliefs they do.  Technology has been set loose in the land and some of the other-worldly machines in Samaria have been failing.  What's more, it seems that Jovah is having trouble hearing the angels.  Alleluia must find her angelico, find her god, and heal her land from the everlasting weather troubles.
This seemed to cover another set of problems.  I do question my faith a lot, and this book was not very reassuring for that.  It did seem to exhibit many of the common behaviors man has when responding to faith and technology.  It actually seemed more like a stereotypical God/Science cross.  I'm not sure that the resolution was satisfying at all.  6 out of 10 for unoriginality?
On another note, read John Scalzi's stand-alone, The Android's Dream.  That was a surprising and somewhat hilarious and WOW! book to read.  Highly recommended.  8.5 out of 10.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I'm finally getting to this...

Here is one of the posts I promised inspired by Phantom of the Opera.  The Phantom, so desperate to experience love and companionship, steals Christine away and tries to procure a lifetime with her.  To him Christine is a God, a being that would bring him true happiness with just the slightest touch.  Only a being like her could possibly love the monster in him.
Is there a monster in all of us?  Do we feel that we could never truly be loved by anyone?  We long to find an angel that will see us for something BETTER than we are because we feel that no one could possibly love this monster.  But then we discover that even this angel is no heavenly being and maybe there is someone who could make us feel loved.  Perhaps that is one thing humans want: the companionship they don't deserve.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

"You can sleep when you're dead.  Life is too short."

-anonymous

Life is short, that is why people are always wanting to do something, they don't know enough, they can't do enough, they're not satisfied.  Why else were cell-phones invented?  We always want something done yesterday.  Moving faster moving faster, what's the limit on how fast people can go?  There is always something to do, especially now.  And yet it doesn't seem to me as if humans can always be doing something important or necessary.  Then they could go crazy, depending on who they are.   We want to do something with ourselves, and in order to do that, we must always be doing SOMETHING!  Humans don't want to be bored, they want to be stimulated.  Evolution at work?  Maybe.  Or maybe this has been something that's always been there.  Why else would we be what we are?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Archangel by Sharon Shinn

Set in a kind of alternate bible-setting, angels semi live near mortals and are more of a part of daily life than they are in a the bible.  Rachel, an adopted wanderer made slave is called to be the wife of the Head Angel-to-be, Gabriel.  Her main duty is to start a yearly singing that abates the wrath of Jovah, their God.  She needs a pretty good voice for this, which she doesn't ever let anyone hear for a while.  She and Gabriel don't get along, to put it blandly, and the singing is in serious question.  Meanwhile, corruption and heresy have crept into the land because of the current/passing Head Angel.  Along with his marriage problems, Gabriel must try to heal the land.
This was a beautiful story.  I sometimes get mushy over love stuff in books and this ended up being a better one with a drastic change from loathing to can't-do-without-you love.  Some of it was slightly coryny, the theology a little annoying, the climax obvious, the end was infuriating.  Though they did say it's good to question your beliefs.  Points for that.  7 out of 10 sounds good to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Hurricane and more scalzi

Sorry that it seems like I'm on this John Scalzi binge, but I've been reading almost a book of his a day.  So I read his next book, The Last Colony, which brings back the main character and his "girlfriend" as main characters.  It also connects to the 2nd book.  He's really very good at this.  His writing is thrilling, the humor is slightly contagious, and the overall plot is just short of masterful.  I think he might be going a little to far with the series thing, his next book just goes over the 3rd book from another point of view, not that enjoyable, but for The Last Colony, it was a pretty solid 7 out of 10.  Review for Sharon Shinn coming when I don't have anything else to write about.

Hurricane wreaking havoc on the east coast.  Not a very common occurance over here, but it is taking so darn long for it to get here!  Hurry up already!  We've been having news things all day!  And it's probably going to continue into tomorrow.  I just hope the roads get cleaned up in a timely manner and that the flooding and the loss of power don't cause a whole lot of trouble.  For those of you in danger that can read this, all 1 of you, be safe!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Books and why? plus more scalzi

I feel awkward telling people what books I read.  At the library, on this blog, at school, I just don't like it.  Because it's personal for me.  I think that people gain some insight on what I'm like from the books I read.  Or think they do.  And I don't want them to.  Talk to me to find out what I'm like, just don't look at books I read and assume things.  Read a random book about vampires recently.  (It wasn't Twilight)  The librarian talked to me about it.  That's a no-no for me.  I HATE librarians noticing what I read.  I never read vampire books.  I picked a random book by an author I'd read.  I didn't know it was about vampires.  The book sucked anyway.

Finished The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi.  A sort of sequel to Old Man's War, a book that I had said was compared to The Forever War earlier.  (I didn't really see too many similarities)  The thing I admire about the book is that it is only slightly related to the first book in the "series."  The book made references to people and events from the first book.  But this new book had a completely different plot-line, almost completely different characters, perspective, setting.  But it was still related.  I wish all authors could write sequels like he does.  It almost seems like he isn't doing it to make money.  (Maybe he was, or maybe he was just doing it for his fans who wanted more)  The Ghost Brigades?  8 out of 10.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

"I would let the world be rent in half before I could sing with any woman but you."    

-Archangel by Sharon Shinn 

I write down a lot of quotes like this, then I go back and think that I must be stupid to think that that one was special.  I guess maybe they all are.  I just wrote this one because at the time I wished someone would feel that way about me.  Well, maybe not the world splitting part, but perhaps if I was that self-centered.  Maybe I am.  Not entirely sure about everything I am yet.  But anyway, I guess the set-up was so well done that I just had to write this one down.  And it kind of sort of applies to me ever-so-slightly.  So here you go.  A man who would rather let the world "go to hell" than be with someone other than his beloved.  I wish I could find mine, but how do I know who to look for or where to look?  I have a poem about this written recently.  Also a review of the book this came from and why I don't really enjoy talking about books I read that often.  Maybe I will actually post these instead of being lazy like I did with the Phantom posts I mentioned back in January.  (They're written, I'm just too lazy to put them on here)  But we're all human.  Though sometimes I almost wish I weren't.  I'm working on that.
Going to put a note on here about writing about how humans are so limited they can't even think about something they were previously thinking of when something else comes to mind.  This is one of the reasons I feel my body fails me.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Earthquake!

So there was an earthquake in our area today.  It was weird.  It was the first earthquake I think I've ever felt.  I didn't even know it was an earthquake, I just thought something was acting up downstairs, like the washer or something.  Then someone called and asked if I had felt the earthquake.  So THAT's what it was.  It was really weird, I just sat down and then it felt like the thing I was sitting on was shaking.  It was SO weird.  I got up, wondering if someone was pulling a joke on me, then I sat back down.  Typical American response lolz.  Actually, typical American response is to get some food then sit back down.  Anyway, that's my weird occurance of the day.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Funner Books

Read this book about being broke.  It was pretty funny.  This girl is going to college and she has no money, hardly a job, and her life sucks.  Well, that's pretty much it.  Life Sucks.  I don't really mind too too much about money.  Usually I don't really have enough time.  Time sucks.  Time is directly related to life.  And yet we're still here, so I have to live it.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

On Truth

You need truth.  And it has to be right.  You can't take someone telling lies.  Or at least their "wrong" version of the truth.  You see I'm being noncommittal here.  You might be right.  Or they could.  If your truth is in question, something has to give, either you or your truth.  You can break in many ways depending who you are.  Like I've always said, everyone it different.  For the most part.  But if your truth is challenged and your truth cannot (seemingly) be upheld, or you refuse to change your truth, you lose your balance.  Emotionally.  Humans need truth.  Fact of Life.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I do read a lot, don't i?

Some "interesting" books for your consideration.

Just read Old Man's War by Scalzi.  I liked it.  I liked some of the concepts, but then it got kind of boring.  I guess it is a rather well known book.  At the beginning it has this Avatar-like thing where they transplant your consciuosness into a different body.  Except I'm pretty sure the book came first.  Anyway...the book style was a little more realistic in that they actually leave your "brain" in your new body, not switching it haphazardly back and forth like they do in Avatar.  It would make sense to have a physical connection to a body rather than a psychic one.  Although on a level it is kind of a psychic connection at the onset.  So I liked the book, but it kind of got tedious after a while.

I'm now reading The Forever War, by Haldeman.  It has a foreward from Scalzi talking about how everyone thought he had based Old Man's War off Haldeman's book.  So it makes it sort of ironic that I read Scalzi's book first.  Orson Scott Card trumps all.  Just saying.

Also read The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan.  A daunting book.  It has 600+ pages.  Way too many.  Who would want to read 600 pages?  Not me.  But I did, only to find out that the book has a sequel.  Now why would you need a sequel after 600 pages?  Then I go even further to look online to find that there is not only one, but 17 sequels to this novel, which was published 21 years ago.  That is just ridiculous.  I did not feel like looking to see how many pages these were, but I bet they were up there.  Ridiculous.  Another thing?  Robert Jordan is dead.  Some bozo is making the last 3 books in the series.  Crazy.  I don't even think I want to read the rest of the books...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

BAND CAMP! AGH!

Band camp.  Why do we do it?  For feelings of ecstasy, torment, and breathlessness.  It is hell, it is fun, all in one huge ball.  I play in the front ensemble right now, and I love it.  I sort of wanna march, but pit is SO MUCH FUN!  You actually get to show and play emotion there.  You don't get to do that on the field.  So that's why pit is fun.  So much visually attractive stuff you can do in pit.  Band as a whole is just so much fun.  I love Band. I love Band.  I love Band.  Oh yeah, it's quote qwednesday.  So here's your quote.  Just kidding!  I love Band.  Man, I feel like the space core from Portal 2.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Sorry that I haven't done this for a while, but here's a poem

Oh! you faultless mind.
You toil onward,
while i wish for respite.

You fill my hours
with calculation and observation
while i pine to dwell in silence
and morosity.

You know the torment we have felt!
the Obstructions we have fallen upon!
Do You not feel what i feel?

Under no circumstances,
could You fell what i do
and continue in your effort.
But You must!

you Must.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Thoughts late at night

You know, I could write on this blog all I want.  I can do stuff in my life and say it made a difference.  But you know what?  I'm just a huge failure.  Maybe we all are.  Less than 10 people looked at this thing for even one second.  This is Everyone.  Gosh, I know so much more than many people with power today.  I don't want power.  I just want respect.  But what I'm saying is we all set out to break out of this mold, I've heard it called a labyrinth.  But you can't.  You may think you have, but you didn't.  We all want to.  Want to create a unique person, do something special.  It just isn't there.  The Something.  The I don't know what it is, but it's HUGE.  Cause all we ever get is preconceived notions.  It's monotonous.  They say we're all different and, yeah, we are, but we're all the same.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Good books

A great book that I just read is Undercover by Beth Kephart.  Now you might read it and say, "Way too many metaphors and I really don't want to hear about a girl's boyfriend problems."  Ok.  I'm not too into the girl thing myself.  But the metaphors got better after you get past the starting barricade.  The book actually was pretty good.  I'm thinking I need to buy it sometime.  Just to give me something to do.  Almost cried.  I don't think I wanted to actually.  What?  You thought you were getting a book review?  What am I, a bad salesperson?  Probably.  That's too bad for you.  Heh.  Anyway, read the book, worth your while.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Sports Jerseys

Of all the jerseys in all sports, I have to say that the new Oregon Ducks jersey with the wings on the shoulders is pretty cool.  Any favorites out there?  Maybe?  I think most jerseys all kind of look the same.  The women's US world cup team jerseys were cool as well.  Just wrote this because I didn't have anything else to write about.  Ho hum...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Philly sports for the win

Phillies and the Eagles making some good trades and aquisitions.  Hunter Pence, Cromartie, and Asomasjofidasja.  Good stuff.  Really hoping that the Phillies can go all the way this year.  I have a pitcher going right now in MLB the show 2011.  He's the ace pitcher for the Phils.  Who have all of their star pitching plus 2.  One is me, the other Felix Hernandez.  They lost all their field players, thus sucking badly.  Anyway, somehow they made it to the world series, thanks to yours truly, and they lost to the Yankees.  Hope THAT doesn't happen this year.  I think their biggest challenge will be getting out of the NLDS and NLCS.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

On the degradation of language

Words keep getting added to languages.  This is a necessity because of technological advances that new terms are needed for.  So when do words and phrases start to become obsolete?  When they come out of usage.  How long does it take for this to happen?  Who knows.  But we do still have a lot of words that have been around for over 300 years.  We just like to talk.  That's just how it is.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Establishment and Negotiation of Truth

Have you ever tried to be in a place where everything you think is made wrong for a very long time?  It is actually really hard.  I've figured out that if you aren't around people who believe what you believe is true, you have to hold that truth within yourself.  And I also believe that one of the goals of humans is to spread their "truth" to anyone who will listen.  So if you can't, then you fail to function correctly, unless you change your "truth."  This is a forced change to adapt to the environment.  Just one of those things that hit me today.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

"Most of us manage to keep our body count quite low.  It's the neighborly way to live."
                 Children of the Mind, Orson Scott Card page 259

This is a quote I found humorous about trying to control powerful feelings.  It is really interesting that most people never kill anyone else.  And then some people do.  I find myself asking, "Why?"

~another musing of the ill-informed~

On the path

Recently, I have been thinking about the path lately.  First, what happens if you stay on the path?  Nothing, you just follow it until YOU run out of time.  What happens if you get off the path?  You might get lost.  Does the path bring safety?  Probably.  Is there deviation within the path?  This is where I get shaky.  There is more than one path.  Everyone has there own, I think.  They will all cross at some point. And most of them finish at the same place.  So I just proved myself wrong.  You stay on your path until it ends you.  That sounds better.  More right.  We all die.  Yeah we do.  Except for a select few.  That's what I believe anyway.  So yeah, paths.  Fun fun.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Do you remember what I said...

about where we end up etc.?  Well, I feel like I started in the wrong place.  Like I don't belong where I am.  Actually, I don't really want to be here.  I sort of want to start somewhere else.  Or make different circumstances.  Be different.  I guess I should stop worrying about what I could be and start thinking about what I am.  But it's hard, isn't it?  Don't we all want something else?  Thus is life.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Governmental Stupid Answers

Awesome category on Jeopardy! tonight.  Governmental Stupid Answers.  Funniest category for a while!  They had the answer in the question.  You were like, "WHAT!?!"  You just couldn't believe that was the answer.  Here's one: "This service determines, assesses, and collects internal revenue in the U.S."
"What is the Internal Revenue Service?"  By that time you say, "Oh, I get it now..."
I think that was a test of common sense for the contestants.  I bet they couldn't believe they were getting this on Jeopardy!  It was just hilarious.  Would've been even funnier if someone got one wrong...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I'm getting screwed over all the time.

Gosh.  Music is so annoying.  When people like you, you do well.  When people like other people, your life sucks.  And that's happening to me right now.  Um...time for a quote.

"Being young is an 18 year prison sentence for a crime your parents committed. But you do get time off for good behavior."
     -Empire, Orson Scott Card

So true.  So very very true.  I don't really need to elaborate upon this, do I?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

GAH! Weird pictures!

Is it awkward when you see some weird pictures of somebody?  Obvious answer: yes.  I don't exactly get why people like to put things about themselves or of themselves on the internet where almost anybody can see it.  I was raised pretty technologiphobic, so I don't really like putting that much of myself where other people can get at it.  I read a story recently about groups of people that didn't even trust people with their true names.  And no, they weren't criminals. 

Then it struck me how free we all are with information.  Almost our whole life is the sharing of information.  I don't really feel like elaborating upon that.  I know it's just true and if you think about it, you will too.

But where would we be if we didn't share information?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Ok, I was just kidding

Firstly, USA lost.  The reason they did is because of too many missed opportunities and a tournament-long streak of not clearing the ball correctly.  Usually, a good clear does not go in front of the goal.  This happened to USA many times and there you have the result: 1-1.

Anyway...

On how where we start affects where we end up?  I feel like I am immensly lucky to be where I am.  I have a beautiful place to live around some nice people in some good circumstances.

Also, just want to have it on here how I am appalled at how sometimes people think that they have to make choices for other people.  People can be responsible for themselves you know.

That's all I'm going to say on that for today.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I Will Now Write A Poem!

Ok.  Here goes.

Thinking, Thinking, Thinking
Going Nowhere.
But how do I get there?

Do you like that?  Just kinda threw it together there.  Wasn't really thinking about anything, I just kinda tricked you.

I'll talk about the result of the women's world cup final a little later.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

What am I?

This may sound weird.  Sometimes I just get an internal rage.  Unreasonably angry with everything.  And I hate myself.  And I smile.  Is this weird?  Do you think I could go my whole life just writing like this.  I don't think anyone really cares about this.  I kind of do.  For some reason, it is important to me to get through to someone.  Maybe get a group of people that actually think.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm just weird.  But what if I were somebody?  Do you ever get that feeling?  That you're somebody?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Same much

I was thinking last night and forgot a coupla things.  Time for more bullets.

• One of my friends complained about previews being too long.  For some reason, my previews were uncharacteristically short.  Less than 10 minutes, I believe 3 movie previews.  I was surprised.
• The movie screen was pixellated.  This upset me greatly.  It was an IMAX theatre and I get pixellated crap at certain parts?  Unbelievable.  I looked at their set-up a little bit and they were reflecting the projector through a sheet of something to get on the screen?  I'm not sure what that is all about.  Please!  Some clarification?
• Goyle was replaced by Blaise Zabini in the room of requirement broom/fire sequence
• I didn't really perceive Bellatrix as laughing when she was killed by Mrs. Weasley.  It would have worked if they cut in the sequence of Sirius dying and then have her die the same way or something.  A Scott Pilgrim-esque type of thing would have worked here...
• I did like how they made the epilogue characters still recognizable by using the same actors.  Now my problems with that sequence.
• Why did you include Malfoy if you aren't going to include Ron's quip about Rose beating Scorpius on every test?
• Also would've enjoyed Ron's driving comments.
• Hermione didn't really talk at all.
• They didn't mention Professor Neville and Luna
• Now for the Snape memory sequence.  Firstly, who was that girl with Lily when she has the flower in her hand?  You don't know, do you?  Well, if you read the book you would know that it is Aunt Petunia.  Surprised?  Thought so.
• Again, no school scenes.  You don't really get the idea of the relationship of Snape and Lily.  You get the smallest inkling, but it was better than that.  It was actually my favorite sub-plot.  So I was upset when they ruined it.

So, again, they included many of the things that happened in the book but not enough details for those things to truly make sense.  As usual, I was expecting more.  It WAS a nice Friday night activity.  But I wasn't blown away like I should have been.  Why are humans so adept at taking the bad things out of everything? 

~another musing of the ill-informed~

If you can't figure out what this is about, you need to get out from under your rock and see the world...

I went to see a movie tonight.  You know which one.  The one with the...oh it's ok.  You know what I'm talking about.

Complaints first.  I'm going to go with my bud Arglefumph on this and start bulleting.  (I didn't actually read his yet, after I write this, I'm going to)

• Harry never actually repaired his wand.  He just broke the Elder Wand and left his wand broken.
• Harry broke the Elder Wand
• Neville didn't kill the snake right away
• No one was exactly there when Harry killed Voldemort
• They didn't really talk that much
• What was that business with Harry shoving Tom off the balustrade?
• Harry doesn't nod when Mrs. Malfoy asks him if Draco is dead or not.  He breathes Yes.  And Narcissa wasn't covering the part of Harry where his head was.  So everyone would have seen him moving his head.  Bam!  Harry dies again.  End of movie
• Not enough French Horn for my liking  (the whole movie series was like that for me)
• I didn't like how the Gringotts scene was handled.  I always thought the dragon blasted out through a wall or something.
• Ron's parsletongue sounded like "I saw Harry kissing Ginny Weasley..."
• The above was kind of dumb
• What was up with that water attack after Hermione stabs the cup.  And it kinda looked like she missed...
• How do you stab a cup anyway? I thought you would stab it in the middle of the part where liquid is held, but I suppose not...
• Neville got knocked back.  That wasn't cool.
• I think the part where Pansy Parkinson says where Harry is wasn't long enough.  Not enough people protecting Harry.
• The pensieve part with Snape was certainly not long enough.  They skipped all the stuff with school-age Snape and Lily
• Little Lily's and Baby Harry's eyes were not green.  Easy solution- contacts.
• At the end, there wasn't enough comic relief.  You only have Harry talking to Albus Severus.  That was it.  Almost like the director saying, "You may only laugh if I let you."  I hated that...
• That stringy thing with the ball that goes back and forth?  Used far too much.  Like 10 times.  It was dumb.  Didn't even happen that way.  Come up with something else to use people!

I could come up with more if you want.

Good things- Awesome cello solo when Snape dies.  At least I think that's where it was.  There was a horn part at the end.  It made my hearts go all a-flutter.  I did like the part where Snape dies.  Favorite quote?  "Why are you here?"  Lily: "We never left."

Overall?  I didn't like it.  J. K. Rowling is not that good.  The movies got even worse.

Resolution?  I need to start bringing my notebook everywhere so I don't forget things I want to talk about.  And when Ender's Game comes out in theatres, it had better be the best thing I have EVER seen on the screen.  Or I will do something horrendous.  Stand up and start booing in the theatre.  It is too good to ruin.  So I can't wait, but it had better be good!  Or else.

And what is this about Breaking Dawn being in two parts?  Moneygrubbing copycats.  I don't like the Twilight Saga.  All we need is an extra movie for old ladies to ooh and ah at.  (no offense to old ladies)

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Where we end up...

...is based on where we start.  I was just thinking the other day.  A daily occurence for me, I assume.  What ends up happening in a life is based slightly upon where they enter the world.  I would probably not be posting this if I were somewhere deep in Africa.  Nor would I think or reason the way I do.  Not that those people that do start there are inferior.  Just that we are different.  And that I would be different if I were where they were.  So I'm not going to get all of the same experiences that they will.   Which could cause me to be lacking in some areas.  I'm kind of resentful of this.  I know it's unreasonable, but that's the way I feel.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I guess it is a Wednesday...

"you can't possibly know the truth about someone unless you love them."
                              -Speaker of the Dead, Orson Scott Card, page 312

Of this I'm not so sure.  I suppose so, if you truly love them.  But it can't just be you wanting to love them.  It has to be both of you working together.  To think that love is created by two, not one, for if it were one would it even be love at all?  Just kinda chose this offa my list.  But I guess in order to know all the truth about someone, yes, you must love that person to get so deeply involved in their idiosyncricies.  I think at this point Ender is talking about someone who really doesn't like him, but he doesn't really mind.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't feel like checking.  So yes, you can't know the true truth about someone unless you love them enough to see it yourself.

Happy Quote Quednesday!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

On Crying

I wish that when I read a really good book, I would be able to cry.  And cry.  And cry.  Guys can cry.  I do cry sometimes during the parts in books that make you want to.  Or just because you want to cry.  Usually the parts are so beautiful, terrible, saddening.  But I don't run around my house spewing tears all over the place.  Though sometimes I wish I could.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Officiating at the World Class Level

I hate to jump on this bandwagon, but it bears discussing.

So the USA win over Brazil in penalty kicks.  For those of you that don't know, here is the report from the game.
http://www.fifa.com/womensworldcup/matches/round=255995/match=300144440/report.html
I'm not sure why the explanation of some of the major events of the game are not on here.  They usually are supposed to be.  Anyway.  The Buehler red card was, to me, unreasonable.  At first thought I thought maybe a penalty kick would be awarded.  When I saw the red card, I was very confused.  I could maybe see where the referee was coming from.  Maybe.  When looking at the replay, the most I saw was indirect kick offense of impeding an opponents progress, resulting in a kick outside the box.  I feel like it would end up being direct.  Maybe not.  Don't feel like checking right now.  The red card was unwarrented and led to the referee losing control of the game.  Then Hope Solo was penalized for not stepping off her line before the kicker kicked the ball, resulting in a re-kick due to her save.  As if she had stepped off the line, if you didn't get my drift.  There are some games that you feel like the referee was just having a REALLY bad day.  And making the subsequent BAD calls.  That's my rant about the referees' decisions.  Oh wait, the 2nd Brazil goal was the result of a missed offsides call.  Yeah, I think I'm done.

Anyway, I'm not in favor of video replays being used to officiate the game when the referees make the correct calls.  Which they are perfectly capable of doing.  So I'm not exactly sure why world class referees like them would have games like that.  I rarely have games like that as a referee, so how do they always seem to have them at the world cup.  Most of the calls are right, but not all for some reason.  Usually the cause is incorrect positioning in my opinion.  The referees are not in the correct position to make the correct call.

The play.  Oh!  The player of the game was Hope Solo.  She was great.  But to me, the best player of the game was Abby Wambach.  Scored the eventual game saving/winning goal in the 121st minute.  And she was RELENTLESS!  She went after EVERYTHING!  60 minutes of playing a man down and the US ends up WINNING!  UNBELIEVABLE!  And biggest heart- Abby Wambach.  When you are down in a soccer game you have to go for everything, get the ball in play quickly.  Because the longer the ball is in play, the higher chance you have of winning.  She put the ball down for the other team, she yelled for the ball, and got in position for that game-saving header.  It was a beaut.  With a very good and slightly lucky cross from Rapinoe.  And soccer is a game that has a lot of luck in it.  And unluckiness as well.  So sorry Hope Solo, but Wambach got my vote on this one.

Soccer is also a game that has had its share of embellishment added to it.  The Brazilian Player just going down in the 2nd half of extra time.  No one had touched her.  She just went down.  And stayed down.  For 4 minutes.  They even got the stretcher out for her.  As soon as she gets off the field, she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets back on the field.  And is rightly given the yellow card for delay of game.  But I feel as if there should be extra consequences for that action.  Such as the amendment, "Any player who is taken off the field in a stretcher can not re-enter the game.  Doing so will result in a red card."  It's just ridiculous.  And should be unheard of at the professional level.  When they make commercials for ESPN about players faking injuries, there is a little bit of a problem.

So anyway.  Great heart US!  Gotta get some work done referees.  No reason to take a bath in grass without reason.  If I were English, I might say the US side played plucky.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Symbolism AKA What English Teachers want you to Write about

So English teachers always want you writing/reading/thinking about symbolism.  And I just wondered what the point of it is.  You could say it helps you make connections.  But you don't need symbolism to make connections.  They probably say it helps with understanding.  Maybe.  But I can probably figure out on my own what exactly money represents.  It can represent greed, neediness, and, most of all, money.  Yes that's right.  Money can represent money.  But I don't really need to know what it represents.  Maybe if you want to understand characters and through connections, people.  But you don't need to.  People have a variety of reasons for wanting things.  Some of which are easily discernable.  In fact, for me, they are all recognized pretty easily.  I don't need symbolism to realize what people are like.  And I certainly don't need symbolism to figure out that it is pointless.  Actually, I do, because if it weren't there, I wouldn't recognize the pointlessness of it...


~another musing of the ill-informed~

Expression

In genetics, certain genes are expressed to different degrees in response to the environment.  Actions and reactions based upon stimuli are, to a degree, genetic.  Character traits are to a point, genetic.  The way these are expressed depend upon the environment.  And by now I've said this 3 or 4 times.  Perhaps you get the point by now.  There is no way to know how these traits will end up being expressed because one set of circumstances occur in one instance but in another instance this stimulus might not occur.  So by now it has become obvious that everyone is different.  Even if we were to be completely identical to another, traits and there expression would be different.  And vice versa.  So there is almost 0 chance of anyone being the same.  Again, this is not what I was going to write about, but here it is...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Now to more casual things...

So I'm an avid quiz show person.  I enjoy Jeopardy a lot.  Many weird things have been happening on that show.  There was this guy with this HUGE mane!  It was ridiculous!  Anyway, I do very well with the questions.  They had a Greek category tonight and I got most of the questions right.  For one of them ($1200 I think) I was like, "Darius or Xerxes,"  And then the first guy said Xerxes and got it wrong then the second guy said Darius.  I guess I'm so good that I can guess the wrong answer AND the right answer.  Haha.  And 2 weeks ago on Price is Right, there were 3 double showcase winners.  At least that's what I remember.  It was RIDICULOUS!  It almost never happens.  It was INSANE.  Well, I guess I shouldn't get that excited over it, but I was.  And have you ever seen the flag of Colombia, the country?  It is half yellow, 25% red and 25% blue.  It was the weirdest distribution I have ever seen.


It's just so weird! (Just so you know, I do not aim to offend anyone with this post)

~another musing of the ill-informed~

How does it feel...

...to learn that everything you ever knew about yourself you hated.  I mean, I already know that I hate myself.  But just imagine when the pampered person learns that not everything is good in the world.  Or maybe even vice versa.  But it's just weird, because this happened to another person in a book, and I hate myself, so it must happen to others. (Consideration of Universe #347: If it happens to you and it happens in a book, it happens everywhere)  He was in denial.  I think I went through a bout of depression.  But now I'm sort of fine with hating myself.  And when I tell other people they try to make me feel better.  But...I don't know.  I just don't know.  And I suppose that's the point.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Knockoffs of Harry Potter are just not worth it

My evidence being that: Jenny Nimmo sucks.  If she ever read this, she would probably be a little upset.  Sorry in advance for that.  But the Charlie Bone series, by the way, don't read it, is really bad.  She should have stopped after book 3.  Book 4 was alright, but with that book, you just start opening a huge can of worms.  The series would have ended with a party.  Everyone loves parties.  You just don't need good to triumph over evil all the time.  Almost typed ecstasy instead of evil there.  Whoa!  Why do stories want to end happily all the time and have closure?  Some closure is fine, but absolute resolution of the plot sometimes doesn't appeal to me, especially when the resolution is just way too hard to conceive of under the current circumstances.  Even with the Harry Potter series, you just can't keep track of all the solutions to a problem.  Whatever happened to time-turners?  And certain weird occurances just don't make sense.  These people do not know how to truly create their fantasy world.  It seems like you almost have to live in that world to truly conceive of it.  Like acting.  Whoever said that sanity was a requirement of being an artist anyway?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I love that you can look at this...

And know that it's me.  Why have I only met you now?  Why am I so unwilling to give myself to you?  Why am I so young and stupid and hormonal and horrible?  Wouldn't being hormonal make me want to be with you?  So why do I not? It's not that I don't want to.  I feel like I'll hurt you.  I feel like I'll hurt you.  I'll hurt you.  You're so perfect.  You know.  (and yes I know, you're not perfect, but) You're perfect.  Ugh.  I'm so dumb.  But I don't want to scar the unfathomable perfection.  I can't do it.  But I would.  How adolescent.  Why am I writing this on here.  I've usually been careful not to tell too much about myself.  I wished you would know it was me.  Why did Rumplestiltskin play his game?  Did he wish his name would be guessed?  Was he tired of hiding?  I want someone to know my secrets.  Even if I can't tell them.  Because being alone is so hard.  And I've tried so very hard to keep myself that way.  At least that's what it looks like to me.  Life is so complicated...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Paradise

I recently watched Up, a movie that shouldn't make you sad but it does.  The guy is sitting in his house/Ellie right next to Paradise Falls, the almost exact place he wanted to end up in life.  He had reached his goal.  And yet he was sad.  Because somehow he knew that it wasn't right.  He happens upon Ellie's adventure book once again.  And finally turns past "What I'm Going to Do" and sees what her Paradise Falls is.  And he realizes that he's been there all along.  For as shy as Carl is, his true paradise is in his relationships.  Which is interesting.  Because Carl will run away from any relationship he could possibly encounter and tries to push everyone and everything away from him, trying to create a bubble around him. I'm not sure why this is.  Nothing happened in his life, as far as I know, that would make him like this from the start.  It just doesn't make sense.  And here I thought I was going to write about how paradise is all around us, we just don't know where to look.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do people want the world to end so badly anyway?

Since the beginning of the world, there have been many prophecies of the end of it.  The most potent being the bible.  But that isn't exactly the end of the world, so to speak.  But I digress.  My question is, why do people want the world to end so much?  So they have motivation to achieve their life goals?  So they can gloat over other people feeling misery?  The guy who just predicted an end supposedly became rich.  Kind of ironic if you're preaching the end of the world so that you can get worldly riches.  The bible even specifically says that no one will no the time or the day.  So how can these people possibly predict it, especially if they're Christian.  Just doesn't make sense to me...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do people not like me?

I go around places and I just see how people act with me and how they act around other people (for some reason I don't find it hard to be invisible when other people are having fun right in front of me), and through many many months of deliberation, I have decided that people do not like me.  They are not my friend or even accomplice.  And I try so hard to be nice to them.  I do stuff for them, I'm myself around them.  And it just isn't good enough.  So naturally I figure there's a reason.  Well I found it.  And it's my fault.  There is just something about me and the way I act that makes other people not want to be around me.  Other people are with their friends all the time and they seem happy.  But they don't want to be around me.  Sure they talk to me sometimes.  But I don't think they want to.  And sorry for writing this entirely self-centered thing, but this is my blog.  I should be able to write whatever I want on here.  But I don't usually.  Actually, most of the time I do.  Sort of...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Annoyingness

I volunteer to referee soccer games sometimes.  I did something like 50 games in the past year.  I volunteer to referee a tournament this weekend, but my availability is limited to only saturday before 2:30.  So of course I only get 1 game at 12:00.  I usually get 5 games or more a day at tournaments.  I've even done as many as 8.  So then when I try to get extra games because I don't want to waste my time, I don't look at the date and don't see that the games are on Sunday.  So I hurriedly decline them and get a nasty letter from my assignor telling me that she should take the game I have away.  And you know, I declined putting out my availability to other tournaments because of this one...something tells me it was a waste of my time.  Oh well.  I'll just referee my one game this week and not get tired at all.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Holocaust

Why did the Holocaust even happen?  It served no political pupose whatsoever, except perhaps to swing the public into hatred against a group.  It seems to me like Germany trying to make other countries DO things.  Like when children hit a boy, make him crazy, say look, "he's so big, but WE can make HIM DO THINGS!"  It's all about control

~another musing of the ill-informed~

How often...

...do you think about what other people are thinking and think that you are right?  I had an english teacher who took things that a character was saying and drew a more "subtle" meaning from it, a meaning that I really don't think applied at all.  And I think this happens in real life sometimes.  You misinterpret how another person reacts to you and you get the wrong idea from them.  But you know, I  think that misinterpretation can be humorous, in a morbid kind of way.  Someone is crying and you think about why they're crying, and then you think that they're not really crying they're laughing! HAHA!  Sort of not really.  Just a different way to look at things.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Control

Pretty sure I talked about this before, but I kind of feel like I need to again.  Control.  Why do we need it?  The need people have to be higher than someone else.  Ok, maybe I am talking about something else here, but I'm convinced it is the same thing.  If you place yourself higher than another person, you are telling them that they can't really measure up to you, sometimes enticing them to try.  Reminds me of the parable when Jesus said that you should take the lowest seat and be moved up at the party.  It just seems really awesome if that always happened in real life.  Humble yourself and you will be exalted, exalt yourself and be humbled.  That would be an awesome way to live.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Need to start getting on this more...

Sorry that I haven't been on this that much.  I just haven't had too much time for anything recently.  I should be posting fairly regularly from now on.

So.  There are some times when I feel like something I do is emotionally insensitive to a certain situation.  Sort of like making a loud noise at a silent movie...it's just kind of awkward.  It just sort of makes sense to me not to do something I would regularly have done under different circumstances.  Not sure what my point is with that, but I thought it was worth bringing up.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why are people so rude???

Why would a person ever just make fun of deaf people as a whole?  I was watching Celebrity Apprentice (yay for DVR!!!) and there was a deaf person and another person was talking about how no little kid wants to read about a person who is deaf because it is sad and it would make them feel bad.  All this to a person who has been trying to break over barriers like this for HER WHOLE FREAKIN' LIFE!!! Seriously?!? That is just ridiculous.  I just don't get how a person can get so callous and rude!  To anybody who has a handicap, which I think most of us do, by the way, the most demeaning thing to tell them is that they should just hide in the shadows because they make people feel bad.  And that person doesn't care about the person they're talking to?  That's just ridiculous.  Ridiculous.  Since when has the human race been degraded to that almost animal order of intelligence?  I'm ashamed.  But then, why should I?  I know that there are some people in the world who do things like this all the time.  I know there are some good people in the world.  But I also know there are substandard examples of humans as well.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why is childrearing so difficult?

Why do parents want only the best for their children?  It seems to me as if parents always push their children into what the parents think is best for them.  I've have also seen the trend of children not wanting to be like their parents and resolve to be better to their children.  I think part of the reason this sometimes does not work is that all children are different and will respond to different stimuli than other children.  But this still seems interesting to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Where do the lies end?

or the truth start?  Do I lie to you all the time?  Could everything I say be an inaccurate mask hiding what I really mean until the mask fades away and becomes the horrible face that is underneath.  I feel like I'm so fake.  I feel like I'm just a machine or a robot, following someone else's will until I find myself enough to make my own decisions.  That or become so overwhelmed with the horrible person I am.  Really overwhelmed.  I just want to curl up and play some music or run or something.  I can't go on like this.  I need something else.  Music.  Pain.  God.  Something.  Probably God.  But all things come from God.  Because I certainly can't get it from other people...

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Man is not machine...

...and never will be
following another person's track with this one
Recently, a computer competed on Jeopardy and won, making people believe that they will sometime be replaced.  This seems ridiculous to me, because computers cannot possibly do everything a person can do.  They cannot "hand-make" anything.  If something goes wrong, they have a limited capacity to fix a problem.  They cannot make their routines better.  All things that humans can do.  I don't care about how far robots get because I know they will never be able to think and reason like real humans do.  You can disagree all you want, and I may as well be wrong, but guess what--I'm still right.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

The Myth of Superiority

Why do other people always have to act as if they always know better?  Why cannot they admit that other people who perhaps seem to not know better have some valuable insights that would be beneficial in many ways?  Why dominate a conversation when you can broaden your scope with more variety?  I just don't understand why people are so eager to hold on to their own beliefs, when they are obviously wrong.  Just kidding.  But just that one sentence.  Everything else is right.  That is why we have DISCUSSIONS not one sided conversations.  Even if you want to wrongfully call that a discussion.  So listen up people!!!

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Different Version, Different Story

There once was a rabbi and there were some people.  In a marketplace, there was a woman who committed adultery and she was going to get stoned by the people, as was the practice back then.  The rabbi said, "Those who are without sin, let them throw the first stone."  All the people dropped their stones.  The rabbi then said, "Nevertheless, this woman has sinned and needs to face the consequences," and subsequently raised and dropped a stone over head and dashed out her brains upon the ground.  I guess not everything turns out the way you think it will.  Perhaps that is why there is not mercy for all.  Because if there was, some people would get away with far more than they should.  Therefore, we should think ourselves lucky when we receive mercy when we feel that we should not.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Haven't been on this for awhile...

...but I'm back now.  Sort of.  I'll be out for a little bit next week.  Somehow the pageview number jumped for a little bit.  I've been really busy, so maybe it becomes ironic that that is when people choose to look or not look at this thing.  Finished the next book in the original Ender series.  I'm sort of going through them all again and writing down ideas at the end.  I can't write while I read.  It messes up the mood and everything.  I use A LOT of paperclips.  I'll take a picture sometime.  The current one had to do with foreign species and their underdevelopment and reliance on a virus for their well-being that is sometimes harmful to humans.  It is really interesting.  Also giving the books to a friend who is just reading them for the first time, which is really exciting.  Gives me a lot of good things to think about.  All the characters are just so deep.  Which got me thinking?  Why are all the characters in the stories highly intelligent?  It is his world and everything, but is everybody really intelligent?  I'm starting to think that there are people who are a whole lot more intelligent than you would think.  Which is completely new mindset for me.  Sort of.  I mean, there are a lot of smart people, but some of them hide it really well.  At least that is what it seems like to me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why Does God Give us good Things?

When all things that we do have some negative consequence?  Okay, not all, but a lot of them do.  Don't try to catch me in this one, there are many good things in the world.  Maybe you should stop trying to pick up inconsistencies in this and actually read what I'm writing.  Anyway, there are good things in the world that show us that even from our negative consequences will spring something good that helps another person.  That may be a redundant statement.  That's right, only I'm allowed to point out inconsistencies, you concentrate on the important things.  God gives us good things to remind us that not all in the world is bad.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Have I Done Right?

Do we ask ourselves sometimes if we are doing what is right?  Of course.  At the end, will we ever think that all we did our entire life meets our goals or someone else's that become our own.  Do we ask, "Did I do it right?"  What will be the answer?  What is right?  Is the goal happiness?  If anybody reads this, I would like them to reply to the question of what a good life entails.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Flying

I have always wanted to fly.  So has the human race.  There is a story about a guy with a sun named Icarus who flew to close to the son and fell into the sea and died.  Yes I know I switched the two suns.  Maybe I did that for  a reason.  But why should I if no one reads this thing anyway.  My point is, human's don't want to be encased somewhere.  They want to have no limits and go "where no man has gone before."  And yet we have "problems" like swine flu and this fiasco in Egypt to distract us from what we are trying to accomplish.  Money and dwindling attention are, I believe, some of the biggest problems in the world today.  When no one cares about science, science gets no funding.  Knowledge is the best and hardest thing for money to buy.  At least that's how it looks from my neck of the woods.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

I Don't Know Why I Can't Remember stuff for these

Why can I never remember these?  Stupid Human.  You can never remember anything important.  Just wondering how a young person or anyone at all can get into the mindset to kill people.  Maybe that's why children are so naive, because they want to play and have fun and stuff like that.  Nobody is reading this!!!  Sorry.  Just had to put that in there.  How can a 14 year old strap a bomb to himself and go out and kill people.  He knows he is going to die.  He knows other people are going to as well.  How can someone ever get psychologically into that mindset?  I heard a story once of a person giving a machine gun to a kid and tell them not to shoot until they say.  They say, the kid shoots, and they take the hood off the kid and say, now you know what it is like to kill people, and there is a murdered "bad" person.  I just don't understand.  Maybe this is another example of the stupid human.  I'm pretty sure it isn't.  More like *expletive* adult.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday

Said the pot to the kettle, "Get away, blackface."-Don Quixote
This quote shows how people try to differentiate themselves from people who are seemingly worse.  But of course, aren't we all people?  Why do we try to feel better than someone else?  We're all human, and humans are usually bad.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

How can you possible know someone else?

You don't know what they think or feel all the time.  You don't know their innermost thoughts.  This leads me to the premise that I am the worst person I know.  Because I most certainly don't know you.  Thus accounts for my very low self-esteem, even though I may seem like I have a very high image of myself, and in some cases I do, but in most cases I don't, if that makes sense.  Wow.  That's a really short post.  Congratulations go to being straightforward.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Stupidity

Ha!  In my last post, I commented on how bad humans are.  Well, there are some advantages to this as well.  Have you ever done something that you think could be hurtful to someone else, and you think they noticed, and you want to apologize?  Then you go to apologize and they didn't even realize you hurt them?  And you feel so stupid?  Because you thought that they were really hurt and you wanted to apologize when you didn't even need to.  Sometimes humans are just so stupid.  If only sometimes we could just be on the same wavelength with people, literally.  So many more things would be accomplished.  But then there wouldn't be any creativity.  So mabye things are better the way they are.  But what if we could turn off this connection.  If you read this, read for other posts, because as you may be able to see, you never know what may show up here.  And I promise you that what you see on here will be among the most interesting things you see all day.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Why do I keep forgetting what I wanted to put on here?

Carpe diem.  Which is exactly what I seem to not be able to do currently.  Why don't I just write things down when I think about them?  Also, I heard my very idea expressed to me by someone else.  I just cannot believe I can't remember these things.  Stupid human fallibility!  Getting limited by brainpower is infuriating!  Well, I did take cool pictures of my cat.  That was fun.  He kept wanting to drop down.  You'll see what I mean later.  Had a late concert.  That was a little boring.  People talked for way too long.  I don't know if anyone is looking at this.  Maybe I just haven't been posting regularly enough.  I really think people should check this on a regular basis.  I'm on here at least twice a week...
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Dreams

That strange realm.  Where things that could never happen can and where things that might happen will.  Not sure what to say about this, but dreams seem powerful to me.  Not exactly sure why.  It seems to me like just another way everything was planned.  To be able to experience your wildest dreams is a gift beyond belief.~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday the Second

Sometimes lies were more dependable than the truth.-Orson Scott Card- Ender's Game  This quote, from one of the greatest authors ever, comes from an interesting context.  Little Ender on the operating table to lose his monitor, a device that monitored everything that happened to him over the previous years, reacts to something the doctor said.  The doctor had said that the operation would not hurt a bit.  Andrew (his real name) took this as an accurate prediction of the future, as adults think that children cannot endure much pain, and therefore assured him that a very painful procedure would not hurt.  In this case, the lie was more dependable than the truth.  This also was shown later when Ender was told a lie about who he was playing against in order to defeat an entire alien race.  But that's a whole other story.  I suppose the ironic thing is, during the operation, Ender almost died, so perhaps the human race would not have been saved after all.  Isn't it interesting how precarious tend to be when seen in hindsight?

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Busy Busy Busy

I was thinking about the unjustice of there only being 24 hours in a day and we have to sleep for a lot of that time when I wondered: isn't it awesome that we live on a world when each day is approximately 24 hours?  And it divides nicely into day and night? And we sleep during the night?  And our bodies readily function in this cycle? Just one random wondering that led me even more to the realization that yes there is a God, and yes, he did create us.  how else would everything be good?
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Ridiculous Bureaucratic Procedures

Why are so many things messed up?  Procedures.  Of course.  There's a flip side.  Why are some things organized?  Procedures.  If we could get past the trash and get to the stuff that matters, more things would get done.  Ideas would get accepted.  This post would get ridiculed like it should.  Maybe if things turned out the way they should things would be better.  And maybe I shouldn't be writing this.  But I have nothing better to say.  See how things are going tomorrow.  Learn the only things you need to know.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Journeys

I was talking to a person once, and I was holding my bags in one hand.  Halfway through the conversation, I thought that perhaps I should drop my bags.  This had a profound effect.  Are we all traveling so far and so fast that we just don't take the time to realize what is going around us?  The conversation was so refreshing that I felt I was being rude to the other person by holding my bags, as if I had somewhere else to go.  Drop the bags.  Stop what you're doing.  Just drop.  And stop.  It's worth it.

Trust me.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Quote Qwednesday!

Quote Qwednesday!
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
         -Robert E. Lee
This quote, by a great, heroic yet human man, shows very clearly the fact that self-control is a very important characteristic that gets you through life.  If one does not have control, how then do they have control over other things that affect them?  Some may perhaps be surprised who said this.  Please know who he is and do not take things that I did not mean the wrong way.  I mean, I did mean them, but not the way you think I did.  Perhaps a little confusing, but you're reading this aren't you?  I'm not confused.
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Crying

I don't think I have talked about this on here yet, but one friend just commented to me about crying makes her feel pitiful.  She may have said something different but similar.  I'm too lazy right now to check.  Anyway, crying in public is actually an admission that yes, something is wrong, and yes, I need help.  No one likes to see people crying, so the person crying will usually be comforted.  Crying in my humble opinion, is almost always if not always a choice.  You can really bring yourself not to cry if you try hard enough not to get in that mindset.  Crying is a form of expression.  Of many things.  I can think of many reasons to cry.  The beauty of something you are not a part of.  The beauty of something you are a part of.  Seemingly unendurable pain.  Others I do not feel like putting here. (laziness again) My main point here is that crying is not something to be ashamed of.  Most times, crying is putting yourself out there for other people to get involved.  That's a kind of self-centered way of putting it, but if it really bothers you can think about it another way.  Just don't expect me to help you to come up with it.  First Quote Qwednesday coming up tomorrow!
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Saying Goodbye

Just read something in a rather boring book that had some good parts and also parts I just did not care about.  One thing stuck out to me.  How often do you tell people you could never see again that you care about them?  How often do you show them that you appreciate them?  What if you never saw this person again?  Perhaps right now you're saying, "I heard this over and over again and I've never had to regret a decision I made, so why bother now.?"  Just think.  In a world as precarious as ours, it could be the last thing that ever matters to anyone that you say to anybody in the whole world.  You have heard this over and over again.  So have I.  So why is it just now ringing true to mine ears?
~another musing of the ill-informed~

Snow

Today the snow came down.  And down.  And down.  Snow is fun.  Cold and hard to shovel.  But it comes from the sky.  Where all have endeavored to go since the beginning.  Sorry for the short entry.  Just outside in the stuff that came from the place we would like to stay.

~another musing of the ill-informed~

Hilarious!

Just found this.  Bawling with laughter I tell you!The world's best and most famous conductor made a small mistake while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. The audience didn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. Once the performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said, 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is my last performance as a world-class conductor. I'm now announcing my retirement.'

After a few minutes' silence from the shocked audience and orchestra, he was greeted with boos and hisses. He walked from the stage, only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized bodyguards. 'Oh no, you don't,' his manager said, 'you're not retiring.'

Forced back to work by his manager, he endured week after week of conducting he no longer wanted to do. While lying in bed one night with his wife of many years, he turned to her and said, 'Dear, would you be able to get me a small handgun?''Yes, dear,' she said, and he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sure enough, at his next performance, the conductor had a small handgun concealed in his jacket. Once the concert had finished, he turned to the audience and said, 'I'm announcing my retirement for the second time. This is my last performance.' The tuba player from the orchestra stood up and shouted, 'You can't be serious!' and the conductor whipped out his handgun and shot the tuba player dead. It wasn't long before the police arrived and the conductor was taken away.

Days later, the conductor was taken to court. 'How do you plead to the charge of first-degree murder?' the judge enquired. 'Guilty, your Honor.' the conductor replied. 'Do you realize the sentence for first-degree murder in this state is death by electrocution?' the judge asked. The conductor thought for a moment but came to the conclusion that death would surely be better than continuing on like he was. 'Yes, your Honor: the conductor said.

While being strapped into the electric chair. one of the guards came to the conductor and said, 'You may have one last request before we terminate your life. What would you like?' After pondering a few seconds, the conductor replied, 'A silver platter with a dozen bananas.' His request was granted. and the conductor scoffed the bananas.

The room was emptied, and the switch was flicked. The conductor's hair stood on end, but he survived! As one guard was about to flick the switch again, he was stopped. 'He survived the chair and the law says we have to let him go.'

The conductor left the building, only to be greeted by his manager and the two gorilla-sized bodyguards. 'Back to work: his manager said.

More weeks of forced conducting went by. Lying in bed again one night with his wife, he asked, 'Dear, could you get me a grenade?'

'Yes, dear: she replied.

At his next performance, the conductor waited until the end of the concert, the grenade tucked neatly in his undies. 'For the third time, I'm announcing my retirement!' he yelled. He took out the grenade, pulled the pin, and threw it into the audience. The grenade exploded, killing 23 members of the crowd. The police arrived, and he was taken away again.

'You again?' asked the judge. 'I thought I'd sentenced you to death not long ago.' The conductor shrugged. 'Okay, how do you plead to 23 counts of first-degree murder?' the judge asked. 'Guilty to all counts: replied the conductor.

While the settings were changed to triple the voltage of the current going to the chair, the conductor was granted another last request.

'A silver platter with two dozen bananas: was his answer. He scoffed the bananas, the· room was evacuated and the switch was flicked. It appeared that they'd manage to kill him this time, but the conductor regained consciousness when they were about to remove his body. His manager and the two gorilla-sized bodyguards were waiting for him as he left the building. 'Back to work!'

The weeks dragged on, and the conductor couldn't take it any more. 'Dear, could you get me a missile launcher?' he asked his wife as they lay in bed.

I 'Yes, dear: she replied.

He didn't even wait for the concert to start. 'Fuck you all!' he screamed, and launched a missile into the New York Symphony Orchestra, killing all 190 band members. The army was called in this time, and he was dragged away.

'Jesus Christ, you again? You're supposed to be DEAD!' the judge roared. The conductor just shrugged. 'May I ask how you plead for 190 counts of first-degree murder?'

'Guilty as sin!' the conductor screamed. The bastards deserved it!' He was hauled away.

A public announcement was issued to all local residents warning that there would be a short out in the power. Meanwhile, the city's electrical engineers were busy rerouting a massive dose of voltage into the electric chair. Once again, the conductor was granted a last request. Three dozen bananas on a silver platter: he said. He scoffed the bananas, the building was completely vacated, and the electric chair was activated by remote control, some two kilometers away. The building exploded, reducing it to rubble. They fished through the ruins to find the conductor's ruined body.

His funeral was held some days later and as the casket was being lowered into the grave there was a knock on the coffin lid. Women fainted as the conductor crawled out of the coffin - alive!

He was taken to a large press conference. One reporter stood up and asked, 'You've survived three visits to the electric chair. How did you do it)'

'I've tried telling people before: he said. 'I'm just a bad conductor.'
~another musing of the ill-informed~